I'll be first in the shipyards, the gaffer says to me I want you to go to the store, lad, and get a few things you say Now here's a list, can you read, lad, can you read it back to me? And me and the boys listen while we're having our morning tea Now reading was me pride, when I left school at fourteen There wouldn't be no problem here, I'd show them I was keen But when I started to reading, they just couldn't hold their mirth Huggin' themselves and splutterin' like they was givin' birth First up a brace of sky boots and a pang of the nail-hole's knee And then three cans of tartan gin, that's me task complete The gaffer pats me on me head and sends me on me way He says, don't come back empty-handed, lad, or I'll have to dug your pit So I gets to the store all nervous, and the quartermaster there Pulls the list out of me pocket, and I starts to read all square Well, I hadn't barely finished when the store man's face turns red He gave me such an evil look, I thought I'd soon be dead First up a brace of sky boots and a pang of the nail-hole's knee And then three cans of tartan gin, that's me task complete The store man swipes me on me head and sends me on me way With a kick in the * from the efforts, and such was my first day I gets back home that evening, and me mother says to me How was it, son? How was your day? Sit down and have some tea I told her of the list I'd read, and the trouble I was in I couldn't go back tomorrow, the gaffer'd have me skinned First up a brace of sky boots and a pang of the nail-hole's knee And then three cans of tartan gin, that's me task complete Me mother swipes me on me head and sends me on me way With a kick in the * from the efforts, and such was my first day Now listen here, you little *, come here, I want you to go to the store Get us a left-handed screwdriver, a bubble for me spirit level A wire mesh oil can, and a long stand With a kick in the * from the efforts, and such was my first day I'll never forget how bloody dead