When I was a young boy, I was really oft confused. The other guys in class didn't seem the same. They'll be kicking balls of different sorts, and running round the fields, and I'd just sit there with my pet chameleon, Larry. Blending in as well as he, but they'd still pick on me. With all their hurtful words and various stationary, protractors, then it dawned on me that I was made a little differently. I'm not so hairy, oh I'm allergic to dairy. I realized that I was just a manly, unmanly man, unmanly man. We're not that great at math or sports, but we smell better. A manly man, a manly man, and through it all we'll be a manly man. When Christmas comes around each year, there's many things I love. From turkey, ham, and Christmas cake, and mini turtle doves. But the one thing that I can't deny, that just makes my heart stop, is a fresh arrival of the Christmas soaps from Body Shop. We're not that into premier leagues, and things like pickup trucks. We won't be army officers, but we'll make fantastic larks. Wear a soft boy starter pack, tucking shirts and turtlenecks, and dreaming of the day when we have sex. Namaste! A manly man, unmanly man, we still like girls, but unlike you we're way more sensitive. A manly man, unmanly man, we're also socially adept, and we can code switch into bras. Got a female shaver, and I really don't care at all, though it's meant for sensitive vaginas. Feels really great on my balls. Puberty came late for me, this is my three week stubble, and at the age of 26 I still don't have an Adam's apple. R.U.T. go back on Hotware Zone and on the Reddit. Better get ready, cause I make memes not love, and I'm calling you out like R. Kelly. Not afraid to say, I love you bro, I love you daddy. You're the gaga to my Bradley. I'm a manly man, unmanly man, unmanly man, unmanly man. We all worship a shrine of Michael Cera. I'm a manly man, unmanly man, unmanly man, unmanly man. You may be swole, but you don't have a success perm. I ain't too manly to watch a chick flick. We get into saunas to measure our deeply emotional trauma. I'm making dolla dolla. I maybe cannot squat, but I can pumpkin squat. I can tell all the different shades of blusher. I can pull off all the moves like Usher. I'm a man damsel, with a man diary. Hit you with lyrics like my man Sazire. Hey you, you're my love, my life, my beginning, and I'm a manly man, unmanly man, unmanly man. Say no to being part of a rape, and yes to pas de bourrée. I'm manly man, unmanly man, no toxic masculinity. Equality, impartiality. A manly man will someday rule the world. Côte-Marie. Cardigans. Rupi Kaur. Polaroids. Bucket hats. Fanny packs. Charlie Lim. John Green. Juice Clans. Blogging. Beyoncé. Tumblr. TED Talks. Thought Catalog. I'm manly man.