I went up for my interview on the fourth day of July
Personal man,
he questioned me until I nearly cried
Made me fill in forms until I shook with fear
About the color of my toilet roll and if my cousin was queer
Here's your gold watch and the shackles for your chain
And your piece of paper to say you left here sane
And if you've a son who wants a good career Just get
him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years
He asked me how many jobs I'd had before He
nearly had a heart attack when I answered four
Four jobs in twenty years,
oh this can never be We only take on men who work until they die
Here's your gold watch and the shackles for your chain
And your piece of paper to say you left here sane
And if you've a son who wants a good career Just get him
to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years
He took me outside to where the gravestones
stand in line This is where we bury them,
quick stone and in line And if you come to work for
us in this you must agree That if you're going to die,
please do it during tea break
Here's your gold watch and the shackles for your chain
And your piece of paper to say you left here sane
And if you've a son who wants a good career Just get him
to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years
This story that you heard,
you may think rather queer
But it is the truth, you'll be surprised to hear
I did not want no job upon the board
I just wanted to take a broom and sweep the bloody floor
Here's your gold watch and the shackles for your chain
And your piece of paper to say you left here sane
And if you've a son who wants a good career Just get
him to sign on the dotted line and work for fifty years