Ladies
and gentlemen,
we proudly present the headlining act of the day.
An act that is played for the crowned heads of Europe,
appearing for the first time in
the U.S.
of A.
Professor Huffman's performing dogs.
Professor Huffman's miraculous dogs.
Jugglers and acrobats dressed up like clowns.
Dogs in tuxedos and swanky evening gowns.
Some dressed like sailors in navy blue jeans.
Standing up and acting just like real human
beings.
Professor Huffman's performing dogs.
Professor Huffman's incredible dogs.
One rides
a pony and carries a purse.
One is on roller skates dressed like a nurse.
A dog in a derby
is doing a dance.
A mutt in red suspenders keeps on losing his pants.
Someone up there in the third mezzanine said,
ain't that the cutest thing you've ever seen?
An elegant pup in a black tie stood
up at the piano and started to play.
An
Alsatian hound obeyed,
jeweled in big gown,
heard the music and started to bay.
The
first tenor howled and the baritone growled and the audience shouted,
hooray!
A little chihuahua got so excited it had to be taken away.
Someone up there in the
third mezzanine said,
ain't that the cutest thing you've ever seen?
Professor Huffman's performing dogs.
Professor Huffman's spectacular dogs.
Watch them do somersaults,
cartwheels and springs.
See them cavorting and jumping through rings.
Breathtaking stunts that amaze and surprise.
Feet so skilled and daring right before your own eyes.
Seventeen schnauzers in bell-bottom
trousers come tumbling out of a bar.
They stagger and stumble and fall down and fumble,
then all tumble into a car.
One starts up the motor and lo and behold,
he crashes it right through the rail.
A big English bulldog dressed up like a
cop arrests him and takes him to jail.
Someone up there in the third mezzanine said,
ain't that the
cutest thing you've ever seen?
Professor Huffman's performing dogs.
Professor Huffman's unparalleled dogs.
For our grand finale,
those marvelous mongrels surpassing their previous tricks.
Those incomparable
canines,
alive and in person,
enacting the spirit
of seventy-six.
One plays the fife
and one beats the drum.
One waves the flag while he walks and chews gum.
Marching together
with boots on their feet,
shoulder to shoulder and right on the beat.
Then on rush the red
coats and U.S.
Marines.
They fire guns and fall down dead just like human beings.
Someone
up there in the third mezzanine said,
ain't that the cutest thing you've ever seen?
Professor Huffman's performing dogs.
Professor Huffman's heartwarming,