Why do I do the things I do to myself The pressure on my soul is damaging my health I know these rappers coming for my health Cutthroat cause you can't fit too much on that top shelf So everybody wanna bump heads Money come rolling in Relationships get questioned Do you even know your friends? Baby mama hold my hand Tell me that it's gonna end Look up tell me God is great Now baby why the sky so bright? Lay my head in your lap As you caress my shoulder We get high then we doze off Wake me up when it's over I'm getting older Don't think I've come to terms yet Still searching for my purpose Wondering if it's worth it You study one book your entire life And still end up a crook I'm rolling dice I come alive at night I never thought to look the other way As my demons call my name You know what they say Who am I to blame? They say to think, sleep and breathe deeper It's the only way to avoid meeting the grim reaper Praying on my knees until I crease my sneakers Can anybody out there hear me should I speak up? I'm pacing back and forth like it's a sport with sweat Dripping down my face the weight of the world is on my chest And I just wanna walk away I've been betrayed, swayed and played face to face By the ones who say they love me the most But now I know that blood was never thick as water See my friends die slowly in front of my eyes See the pain and agony through every smile that I encounter Back in a tour bus with blue pills, dollar bills and dancers Back at home second hand struggling with cancer Almost felt like it was me how could I be so selfish Thinking about myself but not the one that I'm in love with Damn, my heart felt like erupting Barely shedding tears I had to emphasize my toughness I had to emphasize my toughness *