At 12 midnight I called my mom on April Fool's Day morning
We two are close sometimes I think because I was breech-born
The doctor reached inside of her He turned me round and pulled me out
I emerged her bloody babe His slap produced my shout
At 12 midnight I telephoned On April Fool's Day morning
I told mom I'd be home late
Then I hung up the horn I went back to the party then
And I got drunk with all the boys Our florid faces shone so bright
We made a lot of noise
By 2 a.m. we all were drunk On April Fool's Day morning
We had insulted many folk And garnered plenty scorn
We boys and some girls and some hangers-on Formed a jolly caravan
We headed for my canyon home To make our fool's day

stay Tempers flared and tears were shed
On April Fool's Day morning Tequila ripped and on a tear
My party shirt got torn I tried to take a woman down
Right there on the bathroom floor She refused, I threw her out
She refused, I threw her out She refused, I threw her out

She refused, I threw her out She refused, I threw her out
Screaming bitch and *
Screaming bitch and *
I threatened one poor hanger-on With a knife he was worn
By 5 a.m. just three were left On April Fool's Day morning
By 5 a.m. just three were left On April Fool's Day morning
An English fool, an Irish fool And me their foolish Yankee host
We kissed and cried and swore our love And drank one final toast
By 6 a.m. those two passed out On April Fool's Day morning
I drove to Santa Monica A group of bridesmaids And a town woman
Girl, there got me one.
By 10 a.m. I was back home.
I rousted out my half-dead friends.
We said goodbye with downcast eyes, so sheepish in the end.
My mother came out of her room on April Fool's Day morn.
She spied her sorry breech-born son, hungover and forlorn.
I am too old, too large, too close to crawl up on my mother's knee.
So eggs and bacon, coffee, toast were placed in front of me.
© BF-WATCH TV 2021