The cafe light spills onto the sidewalk
thin and tired like you worked a double shift
a paper cup cools between my hands the
lid clicking every time I breathe in
my reflection drifts in the dark window
out of sync with the street behind me
I watch people rehearse their small
smiles like muscle memory still pays the
rent I keep waiting for wonder to rush
me again but it walks now slow and
careful I think I'm getting jaded quieter ways not bitter just harder
surprise I don't fall for every open door anymore I read the
room with different eyes it's not that I stopped believing
something I just stopped giving it all of me first
the train hums low through the tunnel
walls blue light washing over tired faces
someone laughs too loud at a private joke and nobody looks up
I used to lean into every almost connection
every spark that brushed my sleeve
now I let the moment finish itself like a song I don't need
to say maybe distance isn't failure
maybe it's learning what to protect I
think I'm getting jaded softer tones not
close just choosing
my way I don't carry every unfinished
story home or translate silence into
fate it's not that I don't feel things
deeply I just stop breathing for the
proof I thought growing
up would sharpen me turn every edge into control but it
feels more like a slow release like
loosening my grip on what I can't hold
no big disappointment no clear collapse
just a steady change in how I stay less
fire for the performance more truth for the aftertaste
I think I'm getting jaded
honest lie somehow that
doesn't scare me now I don't need every feeling to arrive
like a promise I have to allow it's not losing
focus learning where I'm placing
I
finished the last warm sip
leave the street before it knows my name and walk
home with less sparkle but more
of myself